It might seem like a simple thing, to know how you feel…but it’s not always obvious to us.The same goes for what we want to do today…we need time to sort out what we think you want from us versus what we want for us.It’s sometimes an effort for us to remember what we like to do.We Don’t Like to Be Told What to Do We don’t particularly like to be told what to do.Just like anyone (adult child, or not), if someone has issues that are unresolved, the relationship will be used, in some fashion, to process the issues.That will often result in a short-lived relationship, but not always.We Appreciate Patience We wish you would be really, really patient with us.As smart as we may be, sometimes, when it comes to emotions, it takes us a while to sort out how we feel.
We Have a Soft Core, But a Steel Wrapper We are extremely sensitive people and we are very sensitive to other people–all people, including strangers. The problem is, we often forget to honor our own feelings because we make the mistake of prioritizing the feelings of others first way too often.
Find out if the person you care for has done any self-improvement work to deal with their childhood, whether therapy, a twelve-step group, lots and lots of reading, or some other, structured, form of working through the problems that a childhood with an alcoholic parents creates.
If you’ve arrived here looking for the answer to the hard question, “Should I end my relationship?
I receive a lot of emails from people who are in a relationship with an adult child of alcoholics.
They are trying to understand the person they love, or are trying to love, but they don’t know how to decipher the code of adult children of alcoholics.