Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.The concept of being “friendzoned” on an implicit expectation of sex, because it posits friendship as a suboptimal outcome instead of being a worthy end in and of itself.Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.
Over the course of our time together, we talked about plenty of our romantic and sexual preferences, but neither of us pressed for anything physical.
Consequently, that one person who previously would’ve been a single “yes/no” one-off date with no followup instead becomes not just a friend, but a fantastic advocate in our quest to build future friendships and relationships.
The most effective strategy for finding a good relationship is thus to optimize dating sites for finding Friends understand our needs, become invested in our story, and enthusiastically introduce us to more of their friends.
Jessica later introduced me to yet another awesome friend in San Francisco, and once again, her friend and I ended up having amazing chemistry.
Jessica and I met up as friends, without any overt attempts at wooing, courting, or sleeping with one another. She came to understand my background story and my relationship goals and preferences ( talk about these things all the time), and I learned about hers.